If I had a debate with my younger self, I’m not sure if I would win but I definitely would be more drained in attempting such a feat. My younger self was more stubborn, more ignorant and therefore more self-assured in his opinions, more youthful and energetic (obviously) and saw things in black and white more than I do.
As I’ve gotten older and more wiser (well more experienced for sure), I’ve acquired a bit of hesitancy and doubt in myself and in my actions. Things just don’t seem as clear and obvious as they use to when I was more naïve and saw things in broader strokes.
I see more than one side to every story and see the merits of each argument. It sometimes drives my wife mad how I over-analyze things today. My younger self would just see his point of view and stick with it no matter what. I’m now more willing to take a step back and hear the other side of the story before assessing the situation.
To debate my younger self would be an exercise in futility because for the most part my younger self wouldn’t necessarily listen to what I have to say. He would rather spew out his two cents and demand that I “see the light” and agree with his assessment. My current self is ok to just agree to disagree.
If I didn’t need money I’m sure I would be a professional student. I just love learning about new things. Just today I went to a demo or open house of the Institute of Audio Research to see what this place was about. As you already know (if you aren’t sick of me still saying it), I currently do my own little podcast. I’ve been fascinated with this new hobby of mine ever since I started listening to podcasts back in 2006. Prior to this I was always into music and wondering about how a song was made.
With this new idea in my head of really wanting to understand the science of sound I decided to check out this school and see if it’s a possible new professional direction I might want to take. I definitely left the place looking forward to my own one-on-one tour later this week and breaking down the financials and see if it’s possible for me to undertake this new line of study.
That along with the Long Ridge Writers Group course I re-enrolled and it’s not hard to imagine that if it were such a career, I would be a professional student.
It’s interesting, but I don’t necessarily listen to the same type of music when I’m feeling down. Depending on the “state” of down-ness my taste vary. When I was wondering about job security a few months back, the music that I was drawn to was Rap. I found this a bit interesting myself as I have been down on Rap for some time now. I’m more into the old school stuff and don’t think the Rap of nowadays, for the most part, has anything to say to me. Yet there I was listening to Kanye West’s new album, Nicki Minaj’s “Pink Friday” and Donald Glover’s (of Community Fame) free EP “Culdesac” album. In between Rap, I was listening to dance music to get me moving and motivated.
Other times, I’ve listened Metal or Grunge intermixed with Punk music. Most of the music I listen to when I’m feeling down I guess is to acknowledge the state I’m in, own it and mentally take control of it. Like, “how dare I let whatever it is bring me down!” and “don’t you know this is me you’re messing with?!” Then of course sometimes I would just listen to some Big Band Jazz music or Ingrid Michaelson (more upbeat and happier music) to just lull me out of that mood altogether and just move on with my happy go luck self.
When I’m not listening to music, comedy is usually my other choice to cheer me up and bring me into a state of peace. In general, I’m not one to bask in depression and self-loathing for an extended period of time. I’m usually an upbeat person. And if I’m honest with myself, I really don’t have much to feel sorry for so it’s good that I don’t.