Tag: writing

If You're Getting This Post…

If you’re getting this post than that means you’re using my Feedburner RSS feed link or Feedburner mail subscription link and my new site is up and running. I thought this process would take a few days but it only took one long sleepless night. As tired as I am, I’m happy with the result and I hope you readers are too.

You’ll notice not much has changed. I even kept the Coraline theme that I was using at WordPress.com. Other than a few ads and a donation button everything is pretty much the same (have to fund my self-hosted site somehow, right?).

Anyway, I’m glad with this new direction I’m taking with my blog. Maybe, because I’m paying for it, I’ll even be more diligent with my blogging and I’ll take this writing path more seriously. I guess time will tell.

To Dream A Little Dream

I’ve been having trouble sleeping these past few days. At first, I thought it was because my mind was too engrossed in the Millenium trilogy by Stieg Larsson. But yesterday, I didn’t pick up “The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest” and I still had trouble sleeping.

I realized this morning that the cause of this issue was anxiety. Anxiety for my future. Anxiety for my perceived lack of any accomplishments these past few weeks and anxiety about not succeeding in my current endeavors.

When I was let go from my previous employment on January 26, 2011, I was actually relieved. I have been having some issues with my commute for some time and this gave me an opportunity to focus all my energies on looking for employment locally. I did this for the past three weeks with eager optimism. I even went to some job interviews and even though nothing panned out I wasn’t at all fazed.

Once I started receiving my unemployment benefits, I realized that I now had a wonderful opportunity for something else besides looking for a regular 9 to 5 job. For years, I kept wondering, what if I did something else? What if I perceived one of my dreams of writing, stand up, heck, even acting? I now have this little window of opportunity to actually try these little whimsies with very little consequence. Worse case scenario, I realise that they were nothing more than pipe dreams and I go back to the life of a drone.

It is in this attempt of my dreams, that my anxiety started to kicked in. I no longer have an excuse for not accomplishing these goals. The only thing I have in my way is myself. This is what’s causing my sleep troubles. I’m worried about failing.

This morning I decided that I was going to stop worrying about it and just put in the effort. I got myself out of bed early today and exercised for the first time in many years. Got two blog entries out to catch up to my quota (one by suggestion, and this one straight from my heart), and once I shower up and get all refreshed I’m going to go back to working on my comedy writing.

Just because I’m 34 doesn’t mean I should be afraid to follow a dream. As the saying goes, “It’s never too late”.

UPDATE:

Just want to make it clear that I’m still seeking employment and am not trying to take advantage of my benefits. My creative pursuits are being done in concert with my job hunt.

My Life As A Podcaster

I still remember two summers ago reading “Podcasting For Dummies” and trying to think about what exactly I want to podcast about, the format, cover art, web design, etc., when Claudia finally said, “Stop thinking about it and just do it.” What transpired was 60 episodes of chaotic amateurish audio recording that I’ll always cherish.

I had decided on doing an amalgamation of a bunch of formats of shows that I enjoyed listening to. In between podsafe music, Claudia and I would talk about a variety of topics ranging from the irreverent, to current affairs, to subjects that interested us. Occasionally we would have theme shows based on cultural days or regular US holidays (i.e. Colombian Independence Day, Christmas, etc). As much fun as I got out of this hobby, the thing I’ll miss the least will be the time expended on editing. A half-ass effort would take four hours for every hour of recording alone. A decent edit job could take a day or more.

The impulse that got me interested to podcast was a need to do something creative and to add dimension to a rather dull life in the suburbs.  I’m a lifelong pedestrian and without a car in the suburbs you are stranded to whatever is within walking distance for entertainment. If I wasn’t married, I probably would have gone nuts for not having much to do or anyone to socialize with. In that setting, my only real options for recreation were watching TV, reading, and listening to music or podcast/audiobooks.  And yes, I understand that I could’ve used that time on creative writing or drawing, but I don’t do well mentally with limited choices. It has a dampening, oppressive, suffocating effect on me. I thrive on a plethora of options, which thankfully, living in New York City now facilitates. Plus, they say writing comes from your experiences and I didn’t have much to say for the past few years besides “I walked around the neighborhood again. Saw more ‘Foreclosure’ and ‘For Sale’ signs today.” My life was especially monotonous living in Bridgeport, CT. One day would blend into the next with little variance. Podcasting filled my void of stimulus and creativity.

Of course not being one for moderation I went from a life of few distractions to “the city that never sleeps”, from having some time to kill to not having enough time to get anything done. With each night of social activities, the necessity of podcasting began to dwindle. I was getting my stimulus from my new surroundings (or rather from my original surroundings but that’s a tale for another time) and as I was becoming more outgoing in the real world, my internet social life was becoming less necessary. Also, with constantly being on the run, I was feeling less inclined to just record my thoughts as they came to me in a stream of conscious fashion. The idea of taking a breath, sitting back and jotting down my thoughts in a more constructive and passive manner became more appealing. With this refreshing new perspective, writing and blogging have become more inviting hobbies.

Lastly, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not a good public speaker and I’m absolutely atrocious at ad lib. I’m better at putting my thoughts down in text, letting them lie for a bit, revising them and so on. Plus, writing is once again appealing to the perfectionist in me.

I’m glad I got to do podcasting. I’ll continue to remember my experiences with “The Julio From NY Show” fondly. Now it’s time to move on to the next creative endeavor.