Here It Is, My Comedy Debut

So I got my DVD today and figured out how to use HandBrake in order to get it on YouTube. So here it is. Enjoy!

Finally coming out of the closet, and announcing my standup debut

So I’ve been keeping the whole comedy class under wraps for the most part. But now that my graduation date is drawing near, I felt it was time I made a page for it and announced it into the internet ether.  So everyone’s invited, if they caught my tweet or facebook status and we’ll see how it fares.  That’s pretty much it for now. Not much else to say.

Not Even Scientology Could Save My Career As A Standup Comic

For those of you who don’t listen to my podcast, I’ve been taking a 6-week stand-up comic course out of curiosity and just to see how good my sense of humor is. Well this was my second time up in front of class and once again, I just bombed. If they were there you would’ve heard crickets in the room. So this time around, my teacher finally spoke to me face to face (for those in the know, she is Cory Kahaney), and she had something interesting to say. She basically said that my stuff sounded ok, there was humor in it but it would’ve been more suited in the pages of The New Yorker versus on stage. It was more like an essay and wasn’t succinct enough with just setup and punchline. So even though it bombed in my class, I think it’s still worthy enough to at least be on my blog (if it’s good enough for The New Yorker…). So without further ado, here is my routine that did absolutely horrendous in class. Be honest and let me know what you think:

So I’ve been wondering if Tom Cruise was always crazy or if Scientology made him that way. And after doing some research, well I still couldn’t figure it out. However I did realize that those fuckers were nuts out of their gourd.

For instance, they believe that all humans are possessed by immortal aliens called Thetans and if you worked hard at it and make yourself “clear” you’ll transform or evolve into this Thetan form and become gods. No wonder actors are so drawn to this religion. These camera whores just can’t get enough adulation.

That’s also their explanation for evolution. They believe these aliens were brought into our world 75 million years ago by an intergalactic emperor named Xenu. And once these aliens possessed our ancestors, we got the knowledge to create civilizations and evolve from our primordial animal state. It kinda makes creative design seem sorta plausible don’t you think?

Of course you don’t want to call them crazy to their faces. Cuz if you do these fuckers will rain down on you worse than any curse of plagues you ever read in the Torah.

They’re so scary, even the IRS will leave them alone. The only organization that even intimidates gang lords and mob bosses doesn’t want anything to do with Scientologists.

I can just imagine L Ron Hubbard and Al Capone having a conversation in Hell’s cafeteria, cuz lets not kid ourselves if there’s such a thing as an afterlife, those assholes are down there. So anyway this conversation would go something like this:

Al: Hey there. Have a sit down with me. Let’s chat for a bit. I wanna get to know you. My enemies call me Scarface, but you can call me Al. I’m sure you’ve heard me. I was big time gangster in the streets of Chicago in the 30’s. A real terror see. So who are you?

Ron: Uhm, I’m just a two bit science fiction writer who came up with a brilliant idea to make it big.

Al: Oh really? do tell.

Ron: Well uhm. Not much to it.. I just made up a crazy religion with aliens and reincarnation and stuff and people dug it and gave me bundles of money for it.

Al: Wow. what a racket. I dealt with booze . I was real untouchable see. That is until the stupid IRS got me locked up on tax evasion. So how long before the IRS got you?

Ron: Oh they never did.

Al: What? How’s that even possible?

Ron: Well uhm I had a team of lawyers who kept suing them for 26 yrs straight til they finally let me be.

Al: You mean to tell me instead of guns, death threats and intimidation, it just took a group of pointdexters to shake down the IRS?!

Ron: Uhm… yeah.

Al: Well I’ll be damned.

Marc Maron Love-Fest

So I’ve been listening to my albums of Marc Maron when I got some great news related to him. The first item was that someone posted his UCB show from CA online:

Item no. 2: he now has a podcast located at: http://wtfpod.libsyn.com and the show can be followed on twitter via http://www.twitter.com/wtfpod.  That’s all I have to say.  I did say it was a love-fest, right?

Quite an early start to my weekend

So unlike most Saturdays, where I sleep 12+ hours and wake up around 11am the earliest, I was up and about by 7am. I had to go to White Plains to see my orthodontist and seek a second job. I went to my old employer and I hope it pans out because I really need the cash. After that, I headed back to NYC, specifically downtown to help Claudia get some really expensive architect books for her upcoming school year, went to my mom’s for a delicous steak linner (late lunch, early dinner) and then passed out for 3 hours. When we came to, we enjoyed a nice late night of comedy and must now hurry back home by which I will happily partake of my usual 12 hour slumber. At the bottom of this post you’ll see two photos we took at the comedy place. Will hopefully post some YouTube videos I enjoyed tomorrow.

This is the dessert that Claudia enjoyed.

This is Ochi’s Lounge, the basement club of Comix

Eric Anderson as “Dmitri the Stud”

I don’t know how many people are aware of this youtube sensation, but sometime earlier this summer a weird guy, who goes by the moniker of Dmitri the Stud, tried to hook up with a girl named Olga. This resulted in two weird stalker-like voice-mails (apparently there are now 3) that got posted on Youtube accompanied with a slide-show. Ever since, a whole slew of “Dmitri the Stud” themed videos have been created. The version I found most entertaining where by an actor named Eric Anderson.

In reality, Dmitri “the lover” is James Sears “A disgraced Toronto doctor who had his medical licence stripped for repeated sexual misconduct 16 years ago” as reported by the Toronto Sun back in April 13, 2008. His newest endeavor is trying to show men the art of seduction through his website. Contrary to his new profession, however, his technique seems to be lacking as is evidenced by the voice-mails that are still circulating on youtube.

For your viewing pleasure I present to you Eric Anderson’s brilliantly lip-synced 3-part series of Dmitri The Stud’s Voice-mails.

Nothing worth saying this week

Well it has been some time since my last blog entry and I still don’t have much to say. I’m pretty much tired about the whole Clinton vs. Obama campaign strategies and smear ads. The last debate was a more or less the same as the one in Texas the week before and McCain really hasn’t figured out what his campaign strategy is going to be versus the Democrats or how he can finally get his whole party united under his camp. So with all this said, I have only a youtube video to present to you this week. I just happen to see this video on another blog and I thought it was funny as hell. Enjoy.

Another funny webvideo

Throughout the week I was getting ready to vent about Mike Huckabee and some of the things he said in Michigan about the Constitution; however, my knowledge of politics is limited and I didn’t want to sound like another ill-informed pundit. So instead, I kept trying to soothe my frustrations and pondered on other things to talk about, when I stumbled upon this Crunchgear article. Needless to say, this was the cure to my ails and I’m a happier and less stressed person for it. Hope you check them out and enjoy them as well. Until the next blog entry…

My bonus to you

This one will be a quickie. Anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely love cats. Because of this, I used a picture that I took of my in-laws’ cat and made an LOLCAT. Her name is Dulce (which means sweet or candy in Spanish) and she’s an absolute sweetheart. Plus she is always following me around seeking attention. How can I resist that? Anyway, check it out, vote on it if you’d like and feel free to comment.

I know this isn’t much in depth, but I can’t be socially conscious all the time, can I? What’s a little mindless banter now and then